Yesterday, I started a new job. Three hours beforehand and up until the first hour of the shift, I was so nauseous that I could barely move. That’s what anxiety does to me. It doesn’t matter whether or not my logical brain knows that I can do the new job, or that I know that no one, unlike what my anxiety says, is out to get me. The anxiety part of my brain is so strong (think a strongman on steroids) that it doesn’t matter. The only way to beat it is to keep going.
This, of course, is incredibly hard to do, and easier said than done. Like I said, I was literally doubling over with nausea. The only reason I was able to force myself to go is because I’ve done it before. I’ve forced myself to go.
If you have nausea fueled by anxiety, you know what I mean when I say there are only two ways to relief: not doing something and staying home to immediately shut that sucker off. The problem with the latter solution is that it only fuels the anxiety for later. You’ve recognized the anxiety in that moment – it has convinced you that there’s an actual problem – and even worse, it’s created an actual problem.
Now, whilst I was dry heaving by my car near my new workplace, I was cursing my damn stomach. Why did this have to be my body’s reaction to stress? Couldn’t I just have anxiety and leave it at that? It’s punishment enough. Unfortunately, I can’t change that. It’s just a part of my being. I’ll always get at least a little bit of nausea and a general upset stomach whenever I’m anxious. It’s just the way the neurotransmitters flow (no matter how stupid they are, I can’t change that).
What’s definitely helped the most is knowing that I’m not alone in the “neurotransmitters suck” club. Nausea is an incredibly common symptom of anxiety. In fact, most people will feel nausea due to anxiety at some point in their life. The difference between them and those with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) or OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), social anxiety, or any other mental illness is that for the people with mental illness, it will seem like a much more serious threat and the nausea is more likely to build up.
I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I hate feeling sick, and I hate feeling nauseous. If I could trade this symptom with literally any other, I would. In a heartbeat. That would be my first wish from the genie.
But there are no genies in this world.
Unfortunately, you have to learn to fix your problems yourself (hey god? I’d like a refund. This is bullshit). If you’re reading this, you may also get nausea with anxiety. If so, here’s the best ways I’ve found to deal with it.
DO THE THING THAT MAKES YOU ANXIOUS
This is an important and necessary step. It’s important because it gives you “exposure” to the thing you are anxious about. Exposure is a word I learned from my therapist (note: I also recommend one of those), and it’s one of the best (and scariest) things I’ve learned about in my entire life.
What exposure means, in this case, is that when you’re feeling anxious about something, it means you should do/go to it. This gives your body experience with the fact that the thing you did wasn’t as scary as you thought after all (note: do not do this with actually dangerous things). For me, I’ve gotten so used to becoming nauseous when stressed that I have developed a fear of being nauseous. Isn’t that great? This means that it’s important for me to be nauseous and realize that it’s okay to be, well, nauseous. A lot of my anxiety stems from socializing, so that means that I have to keep going to social events and doing social things, and if I get nauseous, continue to go to them.
That continue aspect is important. You “continuing,” even when something is scary, allows you to become better prepared for the next time.
And if you’re not ready to do the full thing just yet, you can start with small “exposures.” For example, with my nausea fear, I can start getting used to nausea and throwing up by watching people get sick on theme park rides. I can pretend to throw up. I can spin around in circles and hold my breath to actually try to get an upset stomach. There are many ways you can go with exposure.
WHEN YOU PANIC, BREATHE SLOWER
This is difficult for me. I tend to hyperventilate when I feel like I’m about to throw up. My anxiety explodes into a full-blown panic attack. However, many different anxiety sites actually suggest taking long, deep breaths. Make breaths as long as you can make them. This should help the panic attack lessen. You can often find apps or sites that have breathing exercises.
EAT
It seems counterintuitive to eat while nauseous, but with the daily morning nausea I used to get with just living full of anxiety all the time, eating really settles the stomach. Even just a little food can do wonders. It’ll give your stomach something else to focus on besides those anxiety transmitters.
MAKE THE NAUSEA WORSE
Sometimes you’ve just got to throw up to make yourself feel better. You know when you get sick with the flu, and you always feel so much better after the previous day’s meals all come up at once? This is the same idea. Do things that make you more nauseous (I recommend spinning and breathing through a straw).
EXERCISE
This is more of a preventative measure than anything. Exercise has been linked to so many different health solutions, it’s unbelievable. Humans are made to move. Use those muscles. Regular exercise has been shown to help mental health as well as physical health. The most important exercise for mental health, however, seems to be cardio. Make that heart pump fast.
At the end of it all, you’ve got to be prepared for whatever symptom your anxiety comes up with. You’ve got to be able to identify that it’s anxiety, and you’ve got to be willing to accept that you have anxiety. The acceptance part is the hardest thing. It’s also the most important thing. You can’t force anxiety out (trust me, I’ve tried). Trying that gets you nowhere. You’ve got to be able to accept the fact that your anxiety is there, and your anxiety is making you feel these things. You have to sit with your anxiety at the opposite end of a dinner table and tell them that it’s okay for them to be there, but you’re going to focus on your dinner. And take a bite. And another. And another.
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Meagan Jones is a writer and artist from Southern Maine. She graduated in 2019 from the University of Maine at Farmington with a Creative Writing BFA and a Spanish minor. Check out her personal website at https://meaganljones.wordpress.com/ Follow her on Twitter @supernarra